i was saying..

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
4. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
6. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
7. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
8. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
9. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
10. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
11. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
12. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
13. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
14. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
15. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
16. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
17. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
18. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Source: http://www.englishforums.com/content/humour/paraprosdokians.htm